What's so bad about belts?
Belts are the devil's headbands. You can't strap yourself into pants without cinching yourself closer to the devil.
Obedience
The only way to trust your own mind is to give your mind to The Leader
Virility
A larger group is bigger than the smallest among us. Each day we step forward for the ritual of unbuckling in front of - and for - The Leader
Evanescence
Studio albums by Evanescence are to be listened to AND HEARD
Ramifications
Anyone who moves against the group will be unbuckled and taught the lesson which can not be unlearned
Alienation
The family you are born into means far less than the overalls you step into. Reject those who don't follow in the way of the Overall Better.
Leverage
Upon receiving your ritual garb, you must unload your deepest spiritual pockets to The Leader. Everything is recorded.
Life-long
A contract is stored in the deepest pockets of the Overall Better. This acts as a buckle, connecting us, for the next four thousand years.
Birth rate
No rubbers.
Essential Oils
The Leader shall be given an aromatherapy treatment once every Thursday night, during the unbuckling ceremony
Turn 'em in
We shall remain as a buckle, connected and secure. If there's reason to believe that one of the Buckled Few has acted against the Overall Better, they shall be stripped and shunned. The reporting member shall be given 40 points.
The book
Buy - and keep in your chest pocket at all times - a copy of the book "The Devil Wore A Belt - A story of atonement brought to you by The Overall Better" by The Leader.
Every day
Never deviate from the ways of the Buckled Few
Rapture
We're going to heaven.
Belts are the devil's headbands. You can't strap yourself into pants without cinching yourself closer to the devil.
There are some instances when suspenders are acceptable. They are a highly acceptable form of pant retention when compared to belts.